EQ Mary Sue

The EQ Mary Sue Litmus Test By Sun Girl

You all know about Mary Sues - those annoying fan-charas who can do no wrong and who delight in letting everyone else know. And Sungirl - my partner in crime and co-creator of the EQ Alternaverse (where we sincerely hope we have as few Mary Sues as possible) - took it upon herself to create a foolproof test of your EQ character. Is your elf a Mary Sue? Or a rare Garry Stu? Let's find out...

-Is your character female? …I’m going to assume so.

-If your character has a word name (Wolfrider-style name), does it contain any of the following words: Moon, Star, Sun, Mist, Shine, Song, Dark, Rose, Light, Silver, Glow, Shadow, Dance, Night?
-Do you spell any of these words in ‘unique’ ways? Such as: Sylver, Moone, Lyte, Danse…
-Do you capitalize both words in the name? Such as: NightShadow, MoonShine…
-Do you capitalize both words and spell them in ‘unique’ ways?

-If your character has a sound name (Sun Villager, Glider or Go Back-style name), is it a Japanese word masquerading as an original name?
-Is it a Sindarin or Quenya word maquerading as an original name?
-Does it translate to mean “night shadow” or “moon shine”?

-Is your character a Sun Villager, Glider or other typically ‘sound name’ variety of elf, but she goes by a Wolfrider name?
-That she chose for herself in honour of the death of one or more family members?
-Or in honour of some unforgiveable act she commited in a moment of madness?
-Caused by her grief at the death of one or more family members?

-Does your character have butt-length hair?
-Knee-length?
-Floor-length?
-Is it flaming red?
-Or raven black?
-Or moolit silver?
-Or… actually, butt-length hair is doomed no matter what colour you pick. Sorry, dudes.

-Are your character’s eyes not just blue, but “cerulean twilight”, or something similar?
-Not just green, but “sunlight through leaves”?
-Not just hazel, but “polished circles of gold”?
-Violet? No, just violet. You can’t escape from the innate Mary-Sue-ness of violet. Sorry, dudes.

-Does your character somehow manage to be slender and voluptuously curvy at the same time?
-Do you point this out in your opening descriptive paragraph?
-A couple of times?
-Through the eyes of a smitten male character?

-Despite her bounteous bouncing bosoms, is your character a dancer?
-Does she perform the Dance of Seven Veils for a smitten male character?
-Was Sting’s ‘Desert Rose’ running through your head when you wrote that scene?

-Does your character have an unusual bond-beast?
-Is it just slightly unusual, like a bear?
-Is it exotically unusual, like a white Bengal tiger?
-Is it inanely unusual, like a pegasus or unicorn?
-Is it a dragon?
-Really? A dragon?
-Golly, is it telepathic too?

If you’ve made it this far, give yourself an automatic fail for any of the following:

Your character, in defiance of all rules about elfin biology, can refuse Recognition.
Your character is a half-breed with some exotic animal, or worse still, a human.
(Disregard the previous point if your character is Two-Edge.)
Your character is a crossover character from another universe.
Your character has supernatural precognition of what’s going to happen to canon characters - almost as if she had read the Elfquest books herself…

-Is your character a healer?
-And a glider?
-And a shapeshifter?
-And shares a mystical connection with the Palace?
-Is she blushingly modest about her phenomenal powers?
-Although she never misses an opportunity to show them off?
-Do these powers provoke dark and disturbing nightmares for her?
-That a smitten male character has to help her through?
-Does she lose her powers at some point in the story?
-And the smitten male character has to help her through that too?
-Is she, in fact, the fulfilment of a hitherto unknown elfin prophecy?

-Does your character Recognize the smitten male character?
-Is it Skywise? Actually, coming from me, that might be a slightly hypocritical question…
-Does your character hope to Recognize the smitten male character, but instead Recognizes an evil male character?
-Does she resist until it makes her ill?
-At which point the smitten male character urges her to accept Recognition because he will love her forever no matter whose cub she carries?

-Does Winnowill later steal the baby because it is the fulfilment of a hitherto unknown elfin prophecy?

-Are her parents somehow related to a past Chief?
-I’m sorry, my bad. All her family died tragically, of course. Allow me to rephrase: Were her parents somehow related to a past Chief?
-Does this make her Blood of Chiefs?
-Does she, in fact, technically have more right to be Chief than Cutter?
-But she chooses not to exercise this right, out of her natural humility?
-And yet hangs around giving everyone, and Cutter in particular, unlooked-for advice?
-And bringing up the fact that she is Blood of Chiefs any time people contradict her?

-Was her family massacred by marauding trolls?
-By marauding humans?
-By marauding troll-human hybrids?
-By Winnowill’s marauding troll-human-miscellaneous-slimy-beast hybrids?
-Does this make her Winnowill’s fated mirror-image nemesis?

-Really, whatever the reason, is your character Winnowill’s fated mirror-image nemesis?
-Unless your character is Venka… do you realize how lame that is?

**Now for some real fun - try the test out with popular canon characters! **

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Test copyright Erin Roberts 2004. Elfquest copyright 2004 Warp Graphics, Inc. Elfquest, its logos, characters, situations, all related indicia, and their distinctive likenesses are trademarks of Warp Graphics, Inc. All rights reserved.