ElfQuest Monster Ball 2003!

10. Cutter as a Werewolf - He'd win points for make-up, but lose points for originality. Hell, have you seen what he's wearing these days? He's halfway there already.
 
 
 

9. Leetah as a Slutty Nurse - Can't you just see her dressed up in a tiny candy-striper suit with a push-up bra, a plunging neckline, and a kinky little stethoscope?  Suddenly there'll be a long line-up of horny elf lads begging for sponge baths and pillow fluffing.
 

8. Treestump as the Bearded Lady - Oh, damn that would just be too funny. Time to raid Oddbit's closet for plus size dresses. And don't forget the possibilities to be found in Leetah's cosmetic drawer. I see a lot of "autumn rose" and "emerald mist" at work on the cheeks and eyelids. I think Stumpy would find it all very liberating. Just be sure he doesn't get too fond of the lipstick, Clearbrook.
 
 

7. Winnowill as Catwoman - hmm... let's see here. Skintight vinyl, spike heels, long claws, a bullwhip... yep, Winnowill's just loving this one. Again, there is the danger that she may never want to take it off come November 1st, but I think the most pressing matter is what to do with all that hair! Could this mean a trip to the salon for a makeover? Mercy.
 
 

6. Tyleet as a Tribble - All she needs do is have Leetah or Mender magic-up her hair until it hits the ground, then brush it down over her face. A little fluffing and hairspray and keep it light and bounce, a pair of orange slippers, and she's all set. Just make sure the hair stays poofy enough, or she'll be constantly fielding "Aren't you Cousin It?" questions. And remember, Tyleet - tribbles don't say anything, they only make incoherent cooing sounds of pleasure or sorrow. Wait a minute... nevermind, I forgot who I was talking to.
 

5. Scouter as a Klingon - He's already such a grump that he'll hardly have to get into character. Some dark makeup and a little latex forehead and he's all set, though knowing Scouter he'll probably whine that the spirit gum is giving him a rash. Can't you just see him booming out "I am Gar'blagh, Son of Thro'glor"? Oh... one little problem... Klingons and Tribbles can't stand each other. Awww... looks like Dewshine will have to keep Tyleet occupied during the Halloween party.
 

4. Skywise as a Mad Scientist - I'm sure Skywise will be a little disappointed that I haven't put him in something real skintight and revealing, but I think a nice static-haired mad scientist look would suit him the best. A crisp lab coat, a pocket protector, some nerdy glasses and a beaker full of fermenting dreamberry wine and we're all set for the party.
 
 

3. Madcoil as a Playboy Bunny-  Don't get between this bunny and the punch bowl.
 
 
 
 

2. Pike and Skot as Androcles and the Lion - It's time to be literary. If you can't remember where you've heard of these two, they're from the Aesop's Fable. Androcles is a runaway slave who removes a thorn for the Lion's paw and earns his everlasting gratitude. I can just see Pike all bundled up in a store-bought lion costume with a big puffy mane and a long tail, and Skot in itty-bitty bearskin briefs and nothing else (runaway slaves don't wear much, don'cha know.)

 
1. Dart as Frank from the Rocky Horror Picture Show - Those long long legs are just begging to be encased in fishnet stockings, garters and high heels. Some glitter eyeshadow, a string of pearls, and we've got ourselves one "Sweet Transvestite." Leetah the Nurse better be on hand to take care of Kimo - the poor groupie might just pass out at the sight of his Dyrr all tarted up.
 

Moonshade's Top Ten Least Popular Costumes

10. Smurfs
9. Giant Easter Bunny Suits (it drives the wolves into a killing frenzy)
8. Harry Potter
7. Basic Black Witch Wear (Winnowill can only buy so many herself)
6. Zwoot Suits
5. Keebler Elves
4. Bakshi Elves
3. Bobby sox and poodle skirts
2. Barney the Dinosaur
1. Any and all Matrix crap

Winnowill's Top Ten Most Dangerous Places to Trick 'R' Treat

10. The Troll Caverns (but only if Picknose hasn't gotten any lately.)
9. That Grove in the New Land with the Hallucinogenic Bugs.
8. Cutter's Den after 11pm, if you get my drift (wink wink, nudge nudge.)
7. The Veterinary Hospital (it's rabies vaccination season. Also kennel cough.)
6. Madcoil's Grove.
5. The Lost City of the Hoan-G'-Tay-Sho.
4. Any of the innocuous looking doors to Two-Edge's Apartment Complex.
3. The Redeemer's Cave.
2. The Citadel Mound.
1. Blue Mountain. In any time period.
 
 

Pike's Top Ten Trick 'R' Treat Treats

10. Portobello Mushrooms at Picknose's Caverns.
9. Signed Lithographs at Nonna's Cave of Symbols.
8. Protein Shakes at Nightfall's.
7. Chips, Dip, and Pay-Per-View Wrestling over at Treestump's.
6. Death By Chocolate at Rayek and Winnowill's.
5. Bubble gum and Cotton Candy at Dewshine's.
4. All-You-Can-Eat Barbecue at the Go-Back Lodge.
3. Healthy Snacks and Hugs Aplenty at Ekuar's.
2. Those Yummy Homemade Chocolates at Sunstream and Auntie Shenshen's.
1. Dreamberry Wine at Pike's. Party hearty!
 

Ember's Top Ten Halloween Reminders

10. Wolfriders share everything - except their loot.
9. Chocolate only makes wolves sick - save the candy for yourself.
8. Not every Shapechanged is "just a kid in a monster costume."
7. If you take your wolf with you, don't let him eat the jack'o'lanterns.
6. A teeny swimsuit and a "Baywatch" tank top is not a costume, Mender!
5. Don't tell your twin brother where you're hiding your stash.
4. Novelty pencils are NOT acceptable treats!
3 Howling at the moon keeps you sane. The neighbours don't mind. Really.
2. The occasional bonfire orgy is a perfectly socially acceptable form of expression.
1. Remember, curfews go against The Way.
 
 

Strongbow as Robin Hood - Sorry, Wyl. But stealing Scouter's old hat and calling yourself the Archer of Sherwood Forest does not a costume make. Better luck next year.
 
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