“How are you feeling, Cutter?” Skywise asked.
“Better, thank you...” Cutter nodded wearily. He
looked up to see Rayek and Joyleaf flanking Skywise, Joyleaf gazing with
compassion, Rayek watching with guarded caution. A moment passed and then
he caught sight of Winnowill hiding the background, eyeing him warily.
“Nightfall tells me you still dream that you’re
still lost in your delusions.”
Cutter nodded again, soberly. “But...but I’m starting
to see...see clearly.” He looked sadly at Rayek, then gazed past to his
lifemate. “I’m sorry, Winnowill. Truly. You aren’t the Winnowill I know
and hate.”
Winnowill said nothing, but seemed to breathe a
little more easily.
Rayek nodded. “It was a bad fever,” he allowed.
“No one’s ever seen one so fierce before.”
Cutter shook his head. “I...I can’t believe this
all. This is such...it’s an incredible dream. But it’s not mine.”
“Do you still think you are dreaming?” Joyleaf asked.
“Oh, Cutter. Your past life was the dream. These fantasies you’ve been
having, they are the dream.”
“No, no,” Cutter insisted, more calmly now, more
controlled. He was certain they would listen to him now, now that they
could see he was no madman, no fever crazed lunatic. Yes, through his words,
through his memories – his memories – they would see the truth of his way,
and that their way was the dream, the fantasy.
“No...this is the dream,” Cutter insisted. “This...this
isn’t my world. This is...I don’t know what world is this. You...you’ve
told my about this world...now...now I have to tell you about mine.”
Calmly, clearly, he told them about his world. About
Timmain the Selfshaper, and her mating with the wolves in the world’s distant
past. About Timmorn, the half-elf half-wolf, first Wolfrider. About his
legacy: Rahnee, Prey-Pacer, Two-Spear, Skyfire, Freefoot, Tanner, Goodtree,
Mantricker, and Bearclaw, Bearclaw above all. He told them about the war
with the humans in the Father Tree Holt. He told them how Crescent had
died, how Woodhue had lost his eye. He told them how Shale and Eyes High
had died on the night Skywise was born. He told them of his brotherhood
with Skywise, of their childhood together. Madcoil, of the human’s revenge
on the elves, of Redlance’s near death and of the flight to Sorrow’s End.
He told them of Leetah, of their Recognition, of Rayek’s departure, and
the seven years of cubs and safety. He told them of the journey of Blue
Mountain, the Quest for other elves. The fever that had nearly killed him,
the battle with Thief that had almost cost him Skywise’s life. He told
them of Blue Mountain, and Winnowill’s madness. The flight to the Frozen
Mountains, and the war with the trolls. Vaya’s death, Two-Edge’s games,
the deadly battle that won them the palace. The time in the Forbidden Grove
Holt, the siege of Blue Mountain when Winnowill stole Windkin away. The
Cry from Beyond, and Rayek’s madness, first exiling the Go-Backs, then
claiming the Palace, then stealing it away with Leetah and the cubs. He
told them of the long years awaiting the Palace’s return, of Cheipar’s
death and of the tribe’s misery. Their long sleep in wrapstuff, their reunion
and Rayek’s loss of magic. The years waiting for the Palace to rise, as
life slowly returned to normal. The Palace’s destruction and the war with
Groh-mul Junn to retrieve the Shards. Ember’s tribe at Howling Rock and
the battle with Winnowill’s creatures. He told them of Winnowill’s death
and Rayek’s grim destiny as her living prison. He told them of the restored
Palace, and the new destiny they had all found.
When he finished silence reigned. Rayek frowned.
Skywise looked from one elf to the other, his brow furrowed. Winnowill
bit her lip. Joyleaf averted her eyes. At length she spoke.
“Scouter... Newstar... Tyleet, such imagination
you have.”
“It’s not imagination,” Cutter insisted in the same
calm, assured tone. “Scouter is Woodhue and Clearbrook’s son. Dewshine’s
lifemate–”
“One-Eye and Clearbrook Recognized but once,” Joyleaf
protested. “They had Moonsbreath, Rain’s mate. No son.”
“And Strongbrow and Moonshade never had any son
called Dart,” Skywise frowned.
“And Tyleet...” Cutter protested. “Tyleet...Redlance
and Nightfall’s daughter...”
“Tyleet?” Joyleaf frowned. “They have a daughter,
Dandelion. No one named ‘Tyleet.’”
“This is not right,” Cutter sighed wearily. “This
isn’t how it is supposed to be.”
Another long uncomfortable silence, broken when
at last Rayek spoke.
“So...you are chief, and your father before you.
The line has run through your family since the beginning?”
Cutter nodded.
“Well, that would explain much,” Rayek bit back
a gradually growing smirk.
“What?” Cutter gasped.
“It’s a pretty grim world, Cutter,” Skywise shook
his head. “Your father killed off half the tribe through his neglect, and
you...well by your own admission you didn’t do any better.”
“How can you say that?” Cutter asked.
“You never left the Holt even after the humans made
it clear they’d kill everyone on sight, and lost half the tribe,” Skywise
frowned. “You ran into Sorrow’s End on a war raid rather than asking for
aid, took it over like you owned the land, acted like a rutting boar around
this Leetah of yours, and you wonder why Rayek never liked you?”
“You drove him away from Sorrow’s End, his home!”
Winnowill gasped. “You kept him from finding me for another three turns,
thereby destroying our chance to Recognize. You let him go off the Frozen
Mountains and sleep with Kahvi,” she seemed most horrified by that thought.
She turned Rayek’s hand in her protectively, scowling at the notion of
seeing him share furs with the Go-Back Chieftess. “And that self-obsessed
healer bitch of yours assaulted me three times, each time doing more harm
than good. Little wonder I was too furious to listen to my lifemate.”
“You charged into Blue Mountain, drove Winnowill
into further insanity,” Skywise frowned.
“You were bitten by a squirrel?” Rayek chuckled.
“You left the Palace in the Frozen Mountains like
it was nothing more thana slab of rock?” Joyleaf squeaked. “And to
live the Forbidden Grove even when you knew Winnowill was a danger. You
couldn’t find a new safer holt? And you blame Aroree and Winnowill for
taking Windkin?”
“You were bitten by a squirrel,” Rayek marvelled.
“You lead one failed siege after another against
Blue Mountain and you wonder why it came down on your heads,” Skywise shook
his head. “And I see you blame me for the entire episode. No, it couldn’t
be this ‘Scouter’ of yours that starts it. It’s all Skywise’s fault.”
“At least I got to join with him once,” Winnowill
sighed.
“Oh yes, I’m mad as a jackal, attacking the Go-Backs,”
Rayek threw his hands up. “And I have a daughter by Kahvi who tells me
she died. And rather than sympathizing you force to make some fool pact
with you for mastery of the Palace. As if I would ever form any promise
with you!”
“You’ve always been envious of me,” Cutter hissed,
his hackles rising as he recalled age old strife.
“Envious of the Wolfrider’s cook?”
“I WAS CHIEF!” Cutter wailed.
“Not a very good one,” Rayek muttered.
“You didn’t go into wrapstuff as soon as the Palace
left?” Winnowill frowned. “You could have saved all that age.”
“You could have saved Cheipar,” Joyleaf winced.
“He was only a cub. He was born of out season. We
had no healer.”
“And you let him die when he was sick?” Joyleaf
shook her head. “You didn’t wrap him up then, until a healer returned?
Cutter, what happened to you? That’s a cruelty I know you don’t hold in
your heart.”
“Wrapstuff...Leetah called it a living death...monstrous.”
“Again with Leetah!” Winnowill sneered.
“A dying death is so much better,” Rayek growled.
“If you knew Cheipar,” Skywise shook his head. “If
you remembered what he was like as a cub, growing up...”
“He died as an infant!” Cutter insisted.
“He didn’t,” Joyleaf countered calmly.
“You weren’t very nice to Rayek when he came back,”
Winnowill examined her nails.
“I am the cruel and heartless villain of his world,
remember,” Rayek shot her a wry smile.
“I don’t like what’s happening between Timmain and
me,” Skywise frowned. “I doubt Foxfur would like it either.”
“She was killed by Madcoil,” Cutter sighed, his
head in his heads. “You never Recognized her. Not once, not six times.
You shunned Recognition.”
“That doesn’t sound like me,” Skywise raised an
eyebrow.
“No, it does not,” Rayek chuckled. “You and Foxfur
are the only elves in history who can Recognize on command.”
“Well, we’ve had practice,” Skywise grinned.
“This is all so wrong,”
“It sounds as if your world is the wrong one,” Joyleaf
sighed. “Oh, my poor Cutter. Failed quests, needless deaths....”
“You went hunting after the Palace was destroyed,”
Rayek sighed. “Hunting!”
“You let Skot die,” Winnowill frowned.
“I didn’t let anyone die!”
“You let Cheipar die,” Joyleaf whimpered, her eyes
wide with betrayal. “You and your father, you ran the Wolfriders into near
oblivion,” she grieved. “You made impulsive choices without thoughts of
those you affected. You and your mate’s selfish one-sided view endangered
us countless times. It’s a wonder we survived at all. But it was only a
dream. This selfish, foolish, hardheaded beast, it’s not the cub I know
and love. Little wonder you’re so confused, such cruel dreams. But everything
is fine now. Your fever is fading at last. Now you can begin to remember,
remember the truth!”
“THIS is the truth!” Cutter insisted. “This is the
way!”
“It’s a terrible way,” Joyleaf scowled. “A frightening
way! Cutter, let go of these dreams. Give up one truth for a better one.”
“The smaller truth inside the larger...” Cutter
breathed.
“Yes,” Joyleaf soothed. “Exactly.”
“No...no this isn’t right...” Cutter shook his head
again.
“Yes, Cutter, it is...” Joyleaf began, but Cutter
cut her short. “This is wrong! You’re wrong! This is the dream! My world,
my world is the truth. This...this is twisted, this is...sick! Winnowill,
you’re sick, mad...you killed and tortured elves for your own whims. They
call you the Black Snake.”
Winnowill giggled. “Rayek calls me his black snake,”
she dismissed, a faint blush coming to her face.
“Rayek...Rayek...you’re impulsive and arrogant and
your temper and whims endangered you and others around you–”
“Sounds more as if your temper is the dangerous
one,” Rayek dismissed.
“I can’t take this! I can’t take this!”
“Maybe we should go,” Joyleaf began to withdraw.
Slowly Winnowill followed. Rayek hesitated a moment, they joined his lifemate
outside.
“Skywise...” Cutter locked eyes with his once soul-brother.
“Skywise...you have to believe me. This isn’t right. None of this is. You...you
are my brother. We have known each other’s soulnames since we were cubs.”
“Cutter,” Skywise shook his head. “I have to go...”
“I am Tam,” Cutter pleaded. “And you...you are...”
he paused, suddenly at a loss. “You are...Fff...fffaiii....Fffiiirrr...”
he frowned. “You are...” What was this? He knew Skywise’s soulname. He
knew it. And yet it eluded him uttterly. “Fff...” he closed his eyes tight
trying to recall it. No, no it was lost, utterly.
Rayek stuck his head back inside the doorway. “Would
you like a hint?” he offered gamely.
Cutter snarled at him, all his frustrations and
furies rising in one feral growl. The rage came and left swiftly, and he
hung his head in sorrow and overwhelming fatigue. He heard the soft footfalls
as Rayek approached, but could not find the strength to lift his head.
“Tam, is it?” Rayek asked off-handedly, inspecting
his nails, glancing over his shoulder at the ailing Wolfrider.